Out Of My Mind
by youthfulvamp
Summary: Remember your dreams, they might just save your life...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**** Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**Author's Note:**

**Hey everyone! This is my first ever fic and I'm a little nervous to be actually doing this, so just bear with me… It's all new and scary and kind of like a shiny new toy! I'm still working this out- if I do anything wrong, please let me know. Anything else?...mmmm…. I hope you enjoy!**

…

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK !_

"Bella, stop fooling around!"

I looked up at my dad in disgust- did he honestly think it was me knocking?

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

"Bella! Stop it right-"

"For heaven's sake dad, it isn't me! Maybe if you even bothered craning your head to the left of the room you will see me sitting here, on this couch, reading 'The Vampire Diaries', and not knocking at the door! I mean, look around, the only thing that I could knock on would be the table that your feet are resting on!- jeesh!"

"Don't use that tone on me young lady!"

"Please stop! Violence doesn't cure anything, so please, stop!" my mum looked at the two of us with pleading eyes. She planted a small kiss to my forehead and went to the door.

"Now seeing as neither of you will answer the door…"

The living room was silent apart from the quiet muffle of the sports highlights on the television, the rustle of pages from my book and a muffled conversation in the hallway.

I hated it when my dad was like this, so grumpy and snappy. He must have had another bad day at his work-

BANG!

The living room door flew open and two men dressed in black came running in, one holding a knife and the other was holding a gun!  
>The light from the hallway did not hide my mums lifeless figure on the floor.<p>

The man with the gun shot my dad in the head before he could understand what just happened and within two more seconds they were both focused on me. Moving closer with every step, their eyes wide behind their masks and their chests heaving with the adrenalin. My heart was either having a full blown heart-attack, stopped beating or has lept out of my chest before the men got to it and not bothering to wave goodbye to me.

The men were inching closer and closer- I even peered around one of the men to see what the score was for England Vs France… Yeah, dad would have lost the bet…next thing I knew I had a gun at my right temple and very sharp knife to my left temple- this is not how I imagined my ending!

…..

I woke up suddenly to a blazing buzzer in my ear. I smacked my hand onto the annoying thing and pulled the covers over my head, only to be interrupted when the alarm clock went off again!

I hit it once more and sat up, looking at the digital green light of the clock- it was 11:45.

I hung my feet off the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes, adjusting to the daylight that lit my room- I had forgotten to close my curtains last night.

When my feet finally made contact with the cold wooden floor, I stood and stretched- pulling my underwear from my derriere as I really didn't want a wedji at this time in the morning.

I walked downstairs- tripped over some boxes and nearly killed one of our cats - and went to the kitchen, grabbing myself a bowl from one of the many boxes filling our house and rummaging in another for the Shreddies.

"Oh my giddy-aunt Bella!- you look like death sweetie, did you sleep well?" my loving mother asked as she wandered into the kitchen to pack more things into the boxes.

"It's nice to see that your still alive mum- after what happened last night and all…"

"Hmm? What happened last night honey?" she asked me with confusion written above her head on a huge sign that reads 'confused . com'.

"Well now, let me see…me and dad were arguing about the knock at the door and you broke us up with your puppy-eyed voodoo crap again and when you answered the door two men killed you and killed dad before 'supposedly' killing me!" I replied in my most honest/sarcastic voice possible.

Mum on the other hand was still, confused . com.

"Oh. Well that's…nice". She gave me her most disgusted 'I get you!' smile and carried on packing.

"Now hurry up and get ready B, we have to be out of here by 2pm!"

I moaned with dislike.

"Erm, mum?"

" Yes, B?"

"Where's the milk?"

"Hmm?- Oh your father used it and gave the rest to Winston and Clive. There's some orange juice though- have it with that."

Erg!

"Ok, cheers!"

I retrieved the orange juice from the empty fridge and gave Winston and Clive the 'evils' as they lay on the floor with their stomachs bulging out and they both gave me a satisfied, 'your loss' look with their, 'I'm cute, but deadly' eyes.

…..

Sometime later, we were all packed and ready to go…

Well, no, I'm lying… Winston and Clive were refusing to get into their travel boxes and so were making a big fiasco scene which left us all running around our now- empty house- and down the street trying to catch the little buggers.

Honestly, I would have thought they would be rolling around after the milk they consumed- I swear, if they weren't sustainably/active cats they'd be obese.

Like really fat cats that have to get rolled everywhere and have to be put on a wheel-burrow to get anywhere- might even have to get a bulldozer to clean up their kitty poop! Ha, my mind is class!

When we finally got the meowing mutts into their cages we packed the rest of the van and car to the rim and just about managed to squeeze ourselves in whilst making it to the end of our road.

Not before having to drive back because we forgot Clive!

Oh and then again after mum forgot the passports!

Then a final time because dad forgot the T.V remote!

But as promised to the estate agents, we were out of the house just after 2pm and had left the keys inside the house on the kitchen work-surface just like the good people we were- and closing the door behind us.

"Hey dad…Didn't we have to drop a spare key off to the estate agents so they can get into the house?"…

There was a moments silence.

"SHIT!"

This was going to be a long journey….

….

**End Notes:  
>I'm not sure on my posting times yet but if you're lucky, I guess the next one will be up soon.<br>Let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.  
><strong>

**Chapter 2.**

* * *

><p>So we're driving down another road, streetlights flickering past my window, the full moon in the sky and the howling of two constipated cats next to me.<p>

We had a smooth crossing on the plane…yeah right! I was sick everywhere because of the rough flight!- And we are relatively close to where our new house is- well according to mum we were…

So we're driving along this street when this car comes skidding round the bend and flashes its lights at us- I mean in all honesty, I did not think that cars could attract their 'mates' this way but I guess I'm wrong- and skids to a stop in front of our car.

My dad- who had cocktail sticks in his eyes to keep them open- is rather miffed about this and so beeps the horn, because he's a horny man, *wink, wink*.

Just as he makes a move to get out the car, a bullet comes crashing into our window and literally kills my dad with a single bullet! It's so awesome to watch because it's like an action film but not a film, happening live… get me?

By this point my mum is screaming,(bloody Mary) like, 'ouch' screaming. I never knew you could go down four octaves when screaming- even men go higher, not lower!

Next thing I know my mum is stomping her feet in the car and throwing a really big hissy fit? –Ok this dream is getting seriously weird.

Winston and Clive are howling like ware-wolves next to me and are making it extremely annoying.

All of a sudden, my mum collapses onto of the dashboard when a bullet goes through her and I am left alone once again, not at all happy because my ears are left permanently damaged!

Through the corner of my eye I can see a man- dressed in black once again- getting out of his car and making his way to me.

"Well, well. What do we have 'ere?" the man muffles through the black cotton on his face. He is now pointing the gun in my direction.

"Take the cats! They're not mine!" I practically yelled, pointing at the two boxes next to me. I could hear their disapproval and their attempt of convincing the man that I was so much better to take than them- those little cowards!

He chuckled but pulled the trigger to my head, once again- why was I the last to go?

..…

We unpacked everything- well most things- to their new places in our new house and were finally able to take a break and watch the TV.

"Erm, dad…"

"Humph. What now, Bella?

"You need to plug the T.V in, it won't work with you just hitting the remote."

I was rewarded with a pillow thrown at me, with the two cats pouncing on me, and my dad cursing as he went to plug in the T.V.

Honestly, my dad could be pretty dense- sometimes.

Mum was cooking- no she wasn't; she was preparing Pot Noodles for us- in the kitchen and was singing Madonna's 'Like a Virgin'?

My gosh, my life is weird.

Sometime later we were all on the sofa eating our pot noodles and were watching, 'Who's Line Is It Anyway?'

That program never fusses to make us all guffaw with laughter- in this case, spitting our noodles out, or choking on them!

I went to bed that night fully content in this new house. Tomorrow I would explore the neighbourhood and attempt making friends with locals- if that was possible, seeing as I'm not your average type of girl and come on; we now live in Forks - But I'll give it a go.

I switched the light off, and was sucked in to the darkness.

…

However even in the darkness things were different.

For example, it wasn't the usual massacre in which it always ended with my own life – resulting in me waking up. This dream was…different.

I was running through fields of wild flowers and over-grown bushes and skipping over mole holes in slow motion- making my hair elegantly move in all directions- and I was laughing and smiling and singing with the wild animals that surrounded me- I felt like Snow-bloody-White…though I didn't have seven dwarfs!

I was jumping and leaping into the air and spinning, all in slow motion to the 'Caribbean Cruz' song by Enya and all seemed pleasant until my foot landed in something warm, soft and… sludgy.

My face – in my dream – went from smiling and laughing to shock and horror in a matter of seconds as I realised that I had just stepped in shit!

Everything paused around me- all the animals halted and starred at me to do something- the music stopped and the air felt very tense all of a sudden.

I looked around into all of the animals' faces, turning around to each one and heard a disgusting wet sound as my foot twisted in the brown sludgy shit.

"Alright, games over… Which one of you menacing creatures left that here?"

I screamed to them, the anger I felt inside not fully on the surface yet.

I was about to shout some more at them but I was hit in the head by something soft, and it didn't come from my dream…

Thump…

The animals began to run…

Thump…

The scenery went…

Thump…

I was in darkness…

….

I cracked my eyes open- already blinded by the sunlight reflecting into my new room- to see two shadows at the end of my bed?

"What the-"

"Yay- She's up! Sorry about chucking the pillows at you sweetie but we needed you to get up. Now hurry up and get ready, B, we're going to meet the neighbours!" My mum all but screeched followed by the deep chuckles from my dad.

Great!

Lovely!

I just made a new decision…

.

.

.

I'm NOT a morning person!

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Ok, so maybe I posted it a lot sooner than I thought! I have most of this story ready to go so updates should be pretty quick.**

**I hoped you liked.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.  
><strong>

**Chapter 3.**

* * *

><p>When I finally got up and dressed- which I expertly made in to two hours- I made my way down the stairs to be greeted by my two happy parents- who were giving me the evils for taking too long.<p>

"Good-morning all!" I greeted them, now happy and positive that my plan had worked to not go to the neighbours.

My mum gave me a long stare- which included; pouting lip, upturned eyebrow, twitching eye, a growl etc…- until she snapped out of it and got up off the couch making her way to the door, followed by my dad.

"Come on, we're only a few minutes late, we don't want to keep them waiting any longer." –_What?_

This wasn't what I'd hoped to happen… At all!

"Whoa! What do you mean, 'minutes' late?" I look back and forth between my mum and dad. " I spent two hours delaying our visit and you say we're minutes late?- MINUTES?"

My mum and dad gave each other a quick glance.

"Darling, we knew you'd do this, you always do this- every time – and so that's why we got you up at the time we did, because we knew you'd do it again. It's not happening this time, this is our fresh start and we're going to do it right this time!" My dad started telling me.

I couldn't believe I had been so blind as to not see this one coming. I know I do it all the time- that's what I aim to do- I may have said last night that I want to meet the locals, but now, right here and now, I just couldn't do it!

So I did what I could only do in this situation… I run.

I sprinted to the kitchen door but ran straight into it –What the hell?- the door didn't even flinch!

I stumbled back looking at the door and went for round two- running at it again and still it wouldn't let me break through!

"What the hell is wrong with this door?" I screamed.

"We knew you'd do this too- we locked it" My mum sighed.

"You locked it?"- Well heck!- "How am I supposed to make my 'Great Escape' now?"

"You can't." My dad said.

I turned around in one swift move and legged it for the window -seeing as it was my only other way out and I didn't know where the other rooms lead me to yet- jumping over boxes still not unpacked from last night.

As I was running and jumping I was thinking to myself- ' I'm going to do this, might break my arm or leg but it will be worth it to not see the neighbours'…. then…

THWACK!

-That was the sound of me running into the glass and bouncing back off it-

"Yeah, we locked the windows too." Sneaky-no good- great escape blocker- parents!

My head was in agony and I could feel the throbbing and the start of a lump forming on my forehead - it was like my head had a heartbeat of its own! But I still got up off the floor and tried my best to dodge my parents as I stumbled to the front door.

Only to be stopped again by my dad's arms circling my waist…my vision went black…

…

I hear muffled voices and I feel sick as my head is thumping from running into doors and windows and the fact that I'm being carried doesn't help.

I had put up a big fight at home when they had put a black scarf around my eyes. I screamed, and stomped and ran –into everything- I punched, and bit and licked and scratched and spat and hissed and growled….

None of it worked – not even the barking! … My parents had thought this one through real good and I have to admit- they did a bloody good job!

Suddenly I see the light and it blinds me, followed by a mumble from my mum telling me I could have worn something better "more appropriate," she'd said.

"What, is my fashion sense not good enough for you mummy-kins?"

"No, I was just saying that stripy multi-coloured knee-length socks, with hot pants, and a top that says 'I'll rip your balls off!' is very appropriate to meet new people with. Not to mention the red contact lenses; you're not a vampire, Bella, or a prostitute for that matter! I mean, what were you thinking when you brought these things and where the hell did you get them?"

She was dissing my fashion sense and I didn't like it.

What she didn't know is that I have a very big collection of tops ranging from 'suck this!' and 'Bite me!' to 'I have teeth' and 'I've been shagging the hockey team!'

Then I'm pulled out of my thoughts as the front door opens and a youthful looking woman smiles at us.

"You must be the Swan family. Welcome!" The lady smiled eagerly at us.

I hate it when they say our surname.

'Swan.'

Who the hell would want that last name?- Well, I don't. I'm hardly elegant like a swan so it just completely defeats the object of being called 'Swan'…

Not to mention that it has a rather amusing topic at school when everyone finds out- after the teacher calls your name out then laughs hysterically at it before screaming on the floor and crying with laughter when they'd had a good look at me.

I mean- It's not even that funny….

"It's so lovely to finally meet you, we've been waiting ever since that house was put up for sale, and now you're here!"- the lady looked at us with the most enormous smile on her youthful face- I was actually worried that her face might just stay like that; now that would have creeped me out!

"Well come in, come in! Don't just stand there- I'm Victoria Slang, and my husband is Marcus Slang- we have one son and have recently had twins, two girls!" –Well shoot me down; this young MILF is popping them out! She looks too young to be a mother of three and by the sound of things, they're not stopping there!

"Our son is Caius and he's recently turned eighteen and has finally passed his driving test- he keeps mainly to himself-" This woman was beginning to bore me, and we hadn't even made it through to her living room- we were still standing in the hall!

I yawned because I was dead bored and wanted to do something other than stand in 'Victoria Slang's' hallway and talk about her family's life story…

"My two beautiful twins- Angela and Bree – are six weeks! I can't believe it myself." She looked awed and I had to take my hat off to her- I love it when mothers get all googly-eyed over their new borns…_ or was it that this, 'Victoria Slang' had bitten the necks of two innocent, six week old infants from a hospital ward and turned them into new born vampires, and is preparing them to suck the life out of us mortals…_

"Oh how very rude of me! Please do come through, make yourselves at home. Can I get you anything?"

"Oh thank you very much Victoria- it's a pleasure to meet you! And a cup of tea would be lovely if you don't mind- I can help?" My mothers' generosity was kind of sickening as we all perched on her cream coloured leather sofa.

"No, no don't worry- I'll get it, its fine." She turned to make her way out of the room before running back in- "I completely forgot about asking your names -I'm ever so sorry!"

My parents chuckled.

"I'm, Charlie Swan, this is my wife, Renée and our only daughter, Bella." My dad said proudly. "And if you wouldn't mind I'll have a coffee, thank you."

"It's so lovely to meet you all- your only daughter did you say? So the rest are sons?" Victoria stated- honestly, as attractive as she was, she was getting on my nerves.

"Erm, no. Just Bella." My dad stated proudly.

Victoria looked sad for a moment then turned to me with another huge smile on her face, talking to me as if I was a baby.

"Oh, I like your eyes! They are dazzling!" she winked at me.

Was she mocking me?

Oh, she is so mocking me!

Two can play that game…

"Well yeah I brought about ten packs of these babies online, and have a whole range of colours but I like the red ones and the golden ones the best- they're more 'vampire' you know!"- I gave a quick wink back and gave her my other theory-"But you would know all about vampires wouldn't you- you bit those helpless babies and claimed them as your own so that you can raise them and teach them to feast on humanity!"

I sat up straight and crossed my arms over my chest, having my evil smirk-smile on my lips.

The room went silent and all eyes were on me.

I honestly didn't know what I had said wrong…

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Just a quick little thing:**

**Victoria Slang- In Dutch, "Slang" is a snake… It just kind of fitted nicely to Victoria's character from Twilight –well to me it did- so…yeah… Just thought I'd give you a little fact to why I gave her that surname. **

**Hope you enjoyed.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.  
><strong>

**Author's Note:**

**I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but I will now just in case- The Swan family are from England and are moving to the United States; Forks. – Just in case you were wondering…**

**Plus, this story isn't to be taken too seriously.**

**It's here to enjoy.**

**Chapter 4.**

* * *

><p>When I finally made it back home -some time later- I was cornered by my mother, who by the look on her face wasn't very happy with me.<p>

"What the hell were you thinking Bella? I mean, accusing the poor women of being a blood-thirsty vampire and changing the twins into 'new borns'- or whatever crap it is…" My mum started raving to me. "And driving off with their son for the better half of the afternoon!- I mean where did you even go? You don't even know the kid!"

"Mum, mum, chill- she was totally cool with it." Which she was…. "And Caius is just wicked!"

I thought the afternoon went really well….

…_The room went silent and all eyes were on me._

_I honestly didn't know what I had said wrong…  
><em>

"_I'll just… make the drinks..." Victoria stated and walked out of her living room._

_My mum glared daggers at me and went after her, my dad sat next to me breathing deeply- you'd think he was trying to get rid of a bad smell or something…._

_I didn't want to be sat next to him whilst he was in one of those strange trances so I got up and left the room to explore the house._

_Skipping out into the hall-way I debated to go upstairs or to explore some more of the ground floor.? _

_The clever side of my conscience got the better of me so I went upstairs._

_It was even bigger up here and soooo light!_

_I walked past the first door but didn't really want to go in- it was 'Victoria's' room', so I made a quick dodge of it. The second room I came across was the twins' room, which was painted in a very pale yellow with two cots next to each other- I didn't really take anything else in so I went to the next room._

_After a while later I got rather bored and was about to go back downstairs when I saw it._

_I walked down the corridor towards the open door and I might have groaned in pleasure –and in a slightly unnatural tone- when I stepped inside._

_It was a library!_

_They- my next door neighbours- had a library, in their house!_

_I may have just peed in my panties…_

_I was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out but I needed to check one thing, so I ran through the room- 'LIBRARY'-, till I got to the section I wanted._

_Please be here, please be here, please be here, please- YES !_

_Oh I am sooooo beyond happy!_

_I was screaming, with tears running down my face, leaping in the air and squealing like a piglet about to be slaughtered…ok maybe not but you get the idea._

_Just as I was about to passionately make-out with the four books in my arms there was a loud knock at the door._

"_What the-?" a male voice drifted to my ears and I span round to see the owner of such a voice._

_I have to admit; I was slightly disappointed._

_He stood in the door-way with one hand in his pocket, the other on his hip, his emo sliced and straightened hair in his eyes- that luckily didn't have eyeliner on- and just stood there gapping at me._

_Don't get me wrong I was flattered that he was staring at me- I knew I was good looking but honestly- I was trying to be more modest!_

_I chose that moment to get out of my brain and focus on the situation he'd caught me in._

_Now would it be ok to say- "It's not what it looks like!"- Or- "Oh sorry, I was just so pleased you had these books that I got slightly carried away and was about to make out with them?"- Yeah I was stuck to._

_So I chose the__latter_.

"_You were about to do, what to those books?" he all but choked._

"_I was gonna make out with them because I was so happy to see them in your family's book collection?"_

"_W-why?"- was he being as dumb as I was beginning to think he was?_

"_Ermm, because I wanted to?"_

"_B-but-"_

"_Fancy getting out of here?- I'm real bored" I cut him off._

_He closed his mouth after checking me out again and stood up straight, ruffled his hair, coughed and then nodded._

"_Ok then! But your gonna have to drive coz I have no idea where anything is, plus, I don't drive…yet," I said as I walked past him- shoving my hands into his hair and making it stand up straight._

_We ran down the stairs and jumped into his Audi!  
>I put my iPod into the docking station and when ''Bad Reputation' came on by Joan Jett… I was home.<em>

_AKA- all hell broke loose._

_We ended up going to some place called, "Seattle", and went to find some arcades, made the candy floss man angry in the cinema when we stuck our heads in the machine behind the counter and had our heads covered in pink candy-floss. _

_We then got told off by a police man for washing the candy-floss out our hair at the car wash._

_We drove to a bed store and bounced on all the beds, then when we got kicked out we did the same at the sofa store somewhere else._

_We ran into a Church and shouted- "The world is going to end- its happening!" and was rewarded with the whole congregation running and screaming from the church._

_Caius asked me again-and better this time- why I was about to make out with his mum's, 'House Of Night', book collection, to which I replied,- "Who wouldn't?"_

_Overall my first day in my new life was amazing!_

_Not even my mum could bring me down from this high…_

_. . . . ._

_. . . . _

_. . ._

_. ._

_._

"I can't believe you're grounding me! - you have just ruined the best day of my life- I hate you!" I stormed up to my room and slammed the door.

.

.

.

Maybe she could.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:  
>I'll post the next chapter tomorrow, after I've seen the last Harry Potter film…<br>I don't know how I feel about it ending… I'm kind of sad? I haven't read the books- couldn't get into them, but the films told me what I needed to know.**

**With Harry Potter ending and Twilight coming up to its last two films… I think I'm going to be a lost soul when it's all over. Oh, who am I kidding?- It'll never be over, over!**

**What do you think? **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**A/N: More from me bellow.  
><strong>

**Chapter 5.**

* * *

><p>Thursday passed…I did nothing.<p>

.

.

.

Friday passed…I did nothing.

.

.

.

Saturday passed….I did nothing.

.

.

.

Sunday passed and –oh, what a surprise! …nothing!

I'm using the word 'nothing' because quiet literally I am doing 'nothing'.

Sitting on my bed. Sitting on the floor. Lying on my bed. Lying on the floor. Looking out the window. Looking at my underwear draw. Putting on make-up. Taking off make-up. Rocking out. Dressing up. Being a caterpillar. Crying to sad music. Reading books. Reading 'House Of Night' …

I was literally caged like an animal in a zoo, and I literally was because mum would unlock my door to put my breakfast, lunch, dinner on the corner table and swiftly leave.

I think I was going insane. It was lucky they let me out often for toilet breaks!

By my estimates: in the morning I would have completely gone mental with, 'TIMRS' (Trapped In My Room Syndrome).

With possible side effects of: shaking, crying, screaming, rocking, talking to my-self and looking like a zombie.

The only down point to having this illness tomorrow is that it is my first day of school…. Let's hope I make it through the day because I don't think I will.

.

.

Mum must have unlocked my room sometime during the night because I woke up to having Clive's pencil sharpener of an ass in my face and if you thought that was gross, when I poked him to wake him up and get his little butt cheeks out of my face, he farted! It came out and blew across my face. Slow at first before it completely turned into gale force.

I was literally wind-swept!

Then the little minx stretched, sat up- an inch from my nose- and jumped off my bed with a 'thump' before finding a spot on my floor and licking his balls… Lovely…

After having a thorough shower -making sure that cat fart was off of my face- and getting four days of grime off me, I dressed and made my way downstairs.

Dad was the first one to approach me, lifting me up into his arms and having to drop me just as quickly because he hurt his back.

"Way to make a girl feel good dad- honestly."

"Sorry B, I didn't mean it like that, it's just been…a…eventful night." He looked at me as I focused hard into his brown eyes, trying to analyse what he just said.

Then I understood..

"OK that was totally inappropriate dad! Why the hell do you tell me these things when clearly I'd rather keep my breakfast in my stomach- that is if I had anything in me!"

Now he was guffawing, whilst clutching his stomach and holding onto my right shoulder for support.

"If you're going to act like that dad, I will ask gran to drop and pick me up on my first day of school."

He paused for a split second, only to see that I wasn't joking, then he collapsed on the floor and went for round two of the laughing fits.

I have to admit, it was quite funny watching him laugh like this, I may have even grinned a bit.

"There's my girl!" He cooed to me as he grabbed me by my shins and made me collapse on top of him on the floor.

A few seconds later we were both screaming on the floor with tears down our eyes laughing. I honestly couldn't remember what it was we were laughing about but, hey- it feels great!

Mum walked in then, dressed in her 'work clothes' which is all fancy. Pencil skirt, white blouse, black tights, 5inch heels, hair tucked behind her ears and subtle makeup on.

Dad and I stopped laughing immediately and both wolf-whistled her, making mum blush slightly.

"C'mon kids were going to be late!" she rushed.

"Don't you mean, you're gonna be late mum?" I didn't need to be at school for at least another hour and a bit.

"Hmm? Oh I guess your right" she looked at her watch. "Charlie, you need to get ready for your meeting today!"

"Chill, Ren, it'll be fine" He gave a little pout and wink to her and that little gesture made me vomit a little in my mouth thinking of what my dad had said earlier.

"I'll go call gran then, seeing as you won't be able to give me a ride to school-"

"Nonsense, Bella! Your dad will take you to school but seeing as he has a few meetings today and we don't know what time he'll be home and that I finish work a little later today, Gran will pick you up. Ok?"

"Yes!" I leaped into the air and started bouncing on the spot. "Oh em gee! I can't wait to see gran again!"

"Well then, that's settled." My mum stated. "I'll see you both later. Charlie, have a good day and good luck." She went to give my dad a kiss, so I blocked my ears and closed my eyes firmly, only to have my hands taken off them minutes later by my mum.

"Have a good first day sweetie and please try to not get into any trouble or any food fights on your first day." She looked firmly into my eyes. "And for the love of all things holy- take out those red contacts now! I will not be called during my first day in my new office from your head teacher telling me that my daughter was hissing at students and trying to bite their necks- now out!"

I took the red contacts out my eyes and reluctantly placed them in there container in my pocket. She kissed my cheek and gave me a warm hug before she walked out the house and was on her way to work.

I looked around a few minutes later, but couldn't see my dad.

"Dad?" where did he go?

I searched the kitchen, the living room, his study, mums study, their bedroom- eww- and the small airing cupboard. He wasn't in any of them.

Then I heard running water and my dad's singing voice coming from the bathroom.

I snuck into the bathroom and perched on the corner of the closed toilet seat listening to my dad sing 'Barbie girl'. He did a really good job at it- going higher for the Barbie bits and lower for Ken's lines.

He used to sing it to me every time I was in the bath tub when I was younger.

Such funny times.

When the water stopped and his song finished he pulled back the curtain and stepped out the shower- not noticing me yet.

He got his towel and wrapped it loosely around his abdomen as he checked himself out in the mirror.

He was about to start drying himself off but I really didn't want to see that so I had to make myself known.

"Oh please don't dry that 'thing' in front of me!" That was good enough right?

"Aaahhh!" He screamed just like a little girl- which made me chuckle.

"Bella- what the F-…what are you doing in here? God you could have given me a heart attack!"

"I heard you singing so I thought I'd come in?"

"Jeesh! Could have given me some warning, I was about to dry myself off girl- honestly why would you…why did you….just get out, Bella- go get your bag ready or something."

"My bag is ready- you're forgetting I was caged in my room for a few days-"

"Just go, Bella!"

"Fine, ok. What's the magic word?"

"Oh please not these childish games, B. We gotta go shortly-"

"Magic word!"

"You really want me to say it?"

"Yes, now say it. Say the magic word!"

I could see he didn't want to say it but for some reason my dad got embarrassed every time I made him say it and so at every opportunity, I made him.

And right now I could see the small blush creep onto his cheeks as his brow furrowed. He was having a mini dialog battle in his head as we speak.

Any second now he will break and say it.

I don't know how he/we came up with it but it's here- it's our magic word and has been since I was small.

"Say it dad, then I'll happily leave you to dry yourself- and 'mini you' up- then you can joyfully drop me off at school and get on with your meeting-filled day.

Just one, magic, word, daddy…"

I released puppy/kitten/vampire eyes on my dad- even though it didn't really work without the contacts in, but oh well.

I heard him sigh. Then he said it…

.

.

.

"Nom-nom"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Ok, so Harry Potter was just… "Bloody Brilliant!"  
>I'm actually so sad it's over!- I burst into tears at the end for that reason. Not to mention I pretty much lived through the whole thing with them! I was shouting, ducking, screaming, cheering, laughing, crying… Yeah- it was lucky I wasn't thrown out!<strong>

**Has anyone else seen it yet? Or read it?  
>If so- What did you think about it?<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**Chapter 6.**

* * *

><p>"Now remember what your mother said-"<p>

"-Try not to get into any trouble or any food fights on your first day." We chorused together. Dad gave me a weak smile and refocused on the road, coming in to the school grounds.

"Yes, I get it and I'll try my best but I can't promise you anything."

He gave me a stern look- the one that says 'I don't believe you but I'm going to try'- and sighed.

"Please, B? Just… try? For the sake of your mum and me." He gave me his sad smile and I hate to admit it, but it gets me every single time.

"Ok dad." I sighed. "I'll try."

Did I just?

I just…

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

I have never given in to something like that so quickly. Must be the move, yes, has to be the move and all the changes. I'll be back to normal soon enough.

Deep breaths Bella…Deep breaths….In…Out…..In…Out….In…

"B?... You alright in there?" My dad was clicking his fingers in front of my face. Shit, we're at school.

With a strangled "Yeah" I began to sit up slowly.

"You were hyperventilating sweetie. It'll be fine, I promise. Just remember what we spoke about- you know the food fights and all-"He me gave a little wink- "In a matter of weeks you'll feel right at home and...-" He leaned in close to my ear-"Maybe, I'll give you permission to start a food fight. Now what do ya say about that?" He had his signature smile on, which made his moustache tilt on its side and I instantly felt much better.

Hey- he was giving me permission to start a food fight! And that was saying a lot seeing as today he starts his new job a chief of Police!

Hell yeah!

I nodded vigorously to him- earning a chuckle from my dad- and then it went silent.

It was so quiet that the gas that escaped me came to a shock to the both of us.

It was like the beginning siren of World War3 and it made the both of us jump with the high screech.

"Did you just?" I looked sternly at my dad, which gave him his answer immediately.

"Why, B! I am shocked by your outburst!" My dad began to crack up; only when he got a wift of it did he repel in his chair and hold his nose in protest.

"Ergh, Bella! That's just gross!"

"Shut up dad! I'll see you later." I got out the car and when I was about to shut the door my dad called to me.

"Send my love to Gran for me!" I nodded and began walking towards the school building, only to hear the window of dad's car slide down and his voice reaching out to me as I walked.

"And for the love of all-things-fluffy, Bella. Go to the toilet girl- the nerves are getting the better of you!" And with that, his car screeched out of the car park.

Oh. My. Gawd!

Honestly, my dad and I have a great relationship …really, we do.

We could talk about anything together and I felt totally comfortable with him.

That's why I showed no shame this morning when I sat in the bathroom whilst he was nude in the shower. He might have protested- a bit- but I didn't care.

I was brought up to love who I am, every bit of me, even the little bit of flab that clings to my waist slightly. I have no shame!

I embarrass him all the time- At every-damn-opportunity!

And he- he chose his moments to get revenge really well… Like just now... And he knew how to get me good.

So that's how I found myself in the girls' toilets before the morning bell rang.

What? The man had some good advice- the nerves were really getting to me!

. . . . . .

When I finally got out the 'little girls room', and somehow managed to block the toilet, I found myself walking down a very long corridor, full of students.

I won't go into detail because that would just bore me but I'll give you the basic jest.

Tall kids. Small kids. Giants. Midgets. Hobbits. Emo's. Punks. Girlie girls. Girlie boys. Manly Girls. Manly boys…

If you could think it, then they're here.

I walked down the endless corridor and was kind of out of breath when I reached the end, only to be disappointed that there was in fact, another corridor!

I'm going to die in this school!

So by the end of this corridor I was well and truly spent.

AKA: I was dragging myself across the floor, panting and sweating, and maybe even drooling a bit.

All the while I was being starred at by creepy students who walked past me with no trouble or phobia of long corridors.

I got to the door threshold and my weak arms gave in…I collapsed, in a heap, on the floor. As I said before, sweating and panting!

I swear I was a water fountain in some other life!

I think I laid there for a good… ten minutes?, before I felt a firm poke on my shoulder.

I moaned out loud- it hurt!

"Sorry, but your kind of blocking the walk way and it isn't very attractive to see a young lady on the floor exasperated before the school day has even began. Now get up, and let me see your pretty face." The warm voice said.

He was being nice and all I could say back was-

"Leave me alone…I'll die alone"

He laughed lightly and before I knew what was happening I was lifted into thin air and placed firmly on my feet.

"There we go- see it wasn't so bad was it?" He cooed.

"Why are you talking to me as if I'm a two year old?" I shot back.

"Well- you were, crawling on the floor, were you not?" He crossed his manly arms over his chest and pouted. Now there were two clues going here. 1. He was gay, and 2. He likes to play big boy.

"Aw, there's the pretty face! I knew it was there somewhere." He beamed at me.

Damn I was smiling to myself.

"Care to share?" He tilted his head. Why was he so annoying?

"Are you gay?"

"Whoa, what did you just say?"

"Are. You. Gay?" I really emphasised it this time.

"No" He said firmly.

"Then why are you even talking to me? Only gay guys talk to me." This was a true fact, but I didn't mind it, the guys were such laughs.

"Because I was trying to do you a favor by being nice. I figured it was your first day so I was doing a good deed. I'm not gay. I have nothing against them but I, myself, am not a gay. I'm sorry to disappoint you." He spoke normally now, as if, I was a human being.

There was only one way to make this right.

If I wanted a friend, I was going to have to suck up my pride and just get out my head for a few seconds…

"Ok forget that even happened." I slapped his head.

"Ow! What the F-" He held the side of his head.

"Ok, now you have forgotten that, let's start a fresh." I spat on my hand and extended my hand to him.

"Hi, my name is Bella Swan. I am 16 years old- 17 in September! I moved here from England with my parents and two pencil-arse cats. Had the highest art results in my last school and have an A* in English. I love to read and am HUGE fan of all things Vampire. I have a phobia of spiders. I love to dress up, love music- play the piano and guitar, but that's not really important. I wear colourful contacts most of the time- mum made me take mine out today saying how it wasn't appropriate for school and stuff. I was driven here by my dad today and am being picked up by my gran after school. I am delighted to meet you!"

There, I finished my monologue- oh, my drama teacher back in the UK would have been so proud of me!

I was, once again, out of breath and the saliva on my hand was now mostly on the floor- more like his shoe- but that has got to be the longest speech I have ever done!

The dude looked at me for a few minutes analyzing everything I had just told him, and then he looked at my hand in total disgust.

A few more minutes past before he said-

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch your name?"

"Bella Swan"

"Swan?..."

"Yes, Swan…"

And then, I looked down to see the 6ft something boy curled on the floor, crying with laughter.

You see this is the response I normally get… I still don't know why it is so funny?

I gave him some time to catch his breath and when he finally got himself together, he straightened up and spoke with a steady voice.

"Sorry that was rude of me. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did but I was not expecting that, or the monologue. I'm flattered. But, Swan?... Sorry…"

And he was off again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**A/N: Ok, shoot me- I couldn't wait to post this. Well I could've, I just chose not to…**

**Chapter 7.**

* * *

><p>Finally, Mr 'Hilarious' got his jean-clad arse off of the- now polished- floor and helped me find my way to first period, introducing himself as 'Emmett McCarty'.<p>

My first class was Maths which was interesting considering that I hate it and to which I found extremely… fascinating- much to my disbelief- due to the fact that my partner made faces out of all the numbers 1-10.

When I got asked a question- something along the lines of 'what is 2x2? - I couldn't contain my laughter and got sent out.

After that, my maths partner- who I found out is called Lauren Mallory- pointed me in the direction of my second class. After going up three flights of stairs, down another never-ending corridor, around the PE building and then walking back to where I started in maths, I was finally pushed to class by one of the cleaners.

I was 25 minutes late to my Chemistry lesson, though I didn't miss the fun experiment- the one with burning magnesium or something…

I took seven little slits of magnesium and placed them on top of the gauze mat, turning the Bunsen burner on and onto the blue flame.

I felt the full effect of it- hidden from underneath my desk!

My partner- Tyler - turned around just as it began to go into full impact. He spent most of his break-time in the toilets because he couldn't get the soot off his face, then begged the teacher to give him a different lab partner.

"Anyone but her- she's mental!" I do believe were his exact words.

Third and fourth period passed in a blur. I think the lessons were Art- which wasn't that interesting on the first lesson, weaving coloured pieces of paper, I mean, Winston and Clive could do that and they're bloody cats!- and the other lesson was English, to which we just wrote a short paragraph talking about ourselves- which wasn't very hard for me…

Lunch came and passed, Mr Hilarious- Emmett- joined me and pointed out some kids on the field so that I knew who the 'it' people were and the ones who I wasn't meant to hang with, as well as the geeks, dorks, babies and sluts. It was rather sunny today- It's not normally like this apparently.

As we watched, I noticed a girl about my age- her back facing me- trying to run graciously across the field but tripping on her shoelaces and falling down. Some kids near her laughed and pointed but nobody helped her up.

I felt a bit sorry for her, until she picked herself up and did the same within seconds of standing back up- only to hear her own high pitched cackle-of-a-laugh echo around the big space.

It might have made me chuckle a bit.

"Who's the clumsy girl over there?" I asked Emmett, who was scoffing down a bacon bagel, also focused in the direction of the clumsy girl.

"That's Alice Brandon- quiet but ever such a funny girl. She wants to be with the 'in' crowd but hasn't had much luck for two years now."

"Well, she may be a little clumsy…"

"She's clumsy because of her tits, Bella."

I chocked on my Kiwi.

"Excuse me?"

"Her knick-name is, Boob. Everyone calls her, Boob."

"Why?"

"Her huge boobs! C'mon you must have noticed them by now?"

"Well no, I don't really look at girls that way!"

"Well, no- I didn't mean like that- just… when she turns around look to her chest, they're hard to miss."

"I don't want to look at her boobs thanks!" The girl turned 'round and I looked- "Holy shitting-mamma-of-all-things-great-and small…they're huge!"

"And that's why we call her, Boob."

"They're massive!"

"Ermm, ok…"

"They're like inflatable life jackets attached to her chest! The size of air-bags from a car!"

"Bella?..."

"She could wipe out a whole rugby squad with those things and give more than one of them a black eye!"

"B…"

"No wonder she's so clumsy- she can't even see the floor!" I snorted.

"Bella! We have to get to fifth period- the bell rang 2 minutes ago." Emmett announced.

He had to drag me away from the field as I kept glancing over my shoulder to see this 'Boob' girl. I really couldn't get over the size of her jugs…

My last lesson was PE. Another lesson worth missing and another extremely dangerous thing when I am involved.

And I would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that 'Boob' aka; Alice Brandon was in this class too!

The PE teacher split us all into groups and directed us where we could go on the basketball court.

When we were in our groups we got given bibs and everyone stuck them in their shorts, so I attempted to do the same- now is it meant to be tucked into the underwear or hang out the shorts?

The bib was really annoying as it rubbed up against my butt-cheek- surely this isn't right?

We did some stretches to warm up and I swear the dude next to me let one rip- there was a cloud of stink hovering around me- after we got into our positions.

I looked up to see two airbag-breasts staring me right in the face. I yelped and swallowed hard, a light sheen of sweat slowly covering my forehead.

I. WAS. MARKING. BOOB!

The game was going terrific, my team were losing by 73 points!

I was so happy for my team but for some reason none of them returned my enthusiasm.

Boob 'Alice', was really good at being a goal defence- due to the two oxygen bags attached to her chest- because every time I turned to catch the ball, I kept running into her – her chest more-like - and bouncing off of her.

I was lucky that her jugs were so soft – not like the ground- or I would have been in ER by now!

So when I finally did catch the ball- not being knocked out by the balloon breasts- I didn't know what to do.

My team were screaming at me when I finally began moving to the net- dodging anyone who got in my way by pushing them over.

I near the net. I shoot. I SCORE!

This is like total victory for me and I am dancing and cheering for myself totally unfazed that my team hasn't joined in.

Its then that I hear the whistle blow and the teacher announcing that the other team have earned bonus points?

The other team are celebrating whilst laughing at me and its then that I realise…

I ran with the ball and caused construction against other players and worse… I shot in the wrong goal!

Well damn!

Suddenly the Hall goes quiet and everyone rushes to the other end of the pitch.

I hear mumbles of conversations as I make my way over to the crowd, things like, "I hope he's ok" and "It's such a shame he hides away- he'd be really handsome if he cut and styled his hair. He doesn't even try!"- Huh?

I walk through all of them, pushing and shoving till I am at the front in the centre and could see what all the kafuffle was about.

A boy was lying on the floor, still as a statue and incredibly pale looking.

I realised then that he could be either a vampire that has just dropped down and gone into hibernation- though I have never heard of vampires going into hibernating, it was still a possibility though- or he has simply been knocked out by a flying basketball.

I'm not going to lie- it's happened to me dozens of times.

My brain is hurting from thinking too much about this so I ask the teacher-

"What happened?"

"The basketball came towards him and hit him in the head when he didn't move out the way. The boy just sucks at sport, this happens all the time but he's never been out cold this long."

Well I have my answer, now it was time for, Doctor Bella, to make her presence.

"Okay people – step aside- first-aider coming through!" I don't know why I said this- I was already at the front.

I got down next to the boy and straddled him, leaning in to listen to his heartbeat- it wasn't very clear- so I began searching my overloaded brain for something to go by.

What was it that gran always says?

"_If you can't see it, hear it, feel it- thump it!"_

Thank you grandma- what would I do without you?

So I took her excellent advice and hit him, hard, on his chest.

Thump!- Nothing.

Thump. Thump!- Still nothing.

So I did the 'We will rock you' theme by Queen- on his chest and was about to do another song when it happened…

His eyes opened.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Dun Dun Duuun! – who's the boy?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**Chapter 8.**

* * *

><p>Those green eyes haunted me for the rest of the day.<p>

When I got off of him and helped him to his feet, he rubbed his chest- after all I did hit him quite hard- but I didn't tell him that.

The teacher took him to the First-aid room and when he came back it was time to pack up for the end of the day.

A short time after, I was waiting by the school wall for my gran to pick me up. I took this spare time to look around my environment.

School was a plain building- nothing special about it- it was just an ordinary school.  
>The trees that were dotted around the school were just normal trees- the same ones you see all over the world.<br>There were weeds coming out of the paving slabs, and the canopy that shielded students from bad weather days and was covered in bird shit.

Yep, nothing really different.

You know the feeling that someone is watching you? Well I just got that feeling, so I looked around to see if I could spot who was checking me out.

I didn't see anyone looking my way and that annoyed me.

I was sure that I felt eyes on me- this is very frustrating.

I didn't have much time to ponder that topic as an almighty roar came through the car park- signifying the arrival of my gran in her red Ferrari.

It sped to a stop right in front of the school building and a second later the car beeped to get my attention and to tell me to stop rubbing my arse on the wall and to get into the car.

I sprinted to it, only tripping over the small stones that got in my way and before I knew it I was sitting in my grandma's Ferrari once again. The smell of clean leather filling my nostrils and making me sneeze.

"Oh, Bella! I just cleaned it not two minutes before picking you up- you sick child! Now there's stringy snot all over my dash board!"

I gave my gran my best 'I'm sorry' face and before I could say 'granola-cheese pie'-, she was laughing.

"Hi, gran!"

"Hi, Bellatrix- how's it going my dear child?"

"Well…" So I told her all about my first day in our new house and how Clive and Winston were big annoying arses and then meeting the neighbours, my time with Caius, getting grounded and then my first day of school. Including me saving that boys life to which she was very impressed.

All-the-while, gran was listening and driving with a huge smile on her face.

The times I spent with gran were the best.

She wasn't your usual type of gran- nor was my other gran- they were both mental.

I could get away with murder with them!

Maybe not but you get the idea…

When one of us was in a bad mood and needed to be cheered up, she would suggest, egging- throwing eggs at someone's house. (This was before I moved, when I came over for holidays). Now I don't know about you, but I have never heard of a gran doing that!

So we would think of someone we both didn't get on with and go over to their house- eggs in hands- then we would throw them at their windows, leaving the house smelling of rotten eggs for days. In the mornings after we would drive past their house to see them cleaning up, then gran would wind down the window and call out to them 'what happened?' We would look sympathetic for them as they told the story and after we would drive away, screaming and chocking with laughter all the way back home.

Other times we would have water fights in the back garden, only made more fun when her dogs would join in and the cats would be hissing with annoyance.

When we make dinner together we always end up having food fights. I can't count the number of times that we've had to repaint her house. Granddad gets angry with her but can't keep a straight face for very long when he sees that we have food ready in our hands to get him with.

I can't even count the number of times that we strip down to our underwear in the summer and just chill, cook, ride her horses…

I truly have a ball!  
>No- not that type of ball you gross person!<p>

Both my grandparents are like this- which is double the fun for me- even though sometimes there is a line, and if you cross that line you'd get punished. Nothing serious, just another grounding.

Mums parents are a bit more in control than my dad's. They have that line and I've always been with them when I have crossed it.

It's in those moments when I see my mum in them.

Mum is more uptight than my dad, who is just like his nutty parents, but mum can let go of her shield sometimes and when she does… let's just say, it's a funny sight…

When we got to gran's house I leapt into my grand-dads arms and he cursed out loud when we heard his back bones clicking. Oops!

I said 'hello' to Chilli Con Carne- the Bulldog, Dynamite- the Border-collie, and finally Rufus and Pringle- their two grumpy pussycats.

I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to rock music with gran as we head-banged and played guitar hero- we even did our hair and make-up like rock stars, with the back combed hair and the over-the-top eye make-up.

It was awesome!

Granddad brought us refreshments sometime during our rocking-out and ordered pizza in to which it was demolished within minutes.

Gran dropped me off home at 10pm and mums face when she saw me was a Kodak moment!

Dad was more amused with the fact that gran was the one to suggest this but wasn't as surprised like mum was…

I went to sleep that night, fully content, dreaming of screaming rock lyrics into a microphone and the electric vibrations of the guitars and thumping of the bass playing behind me, as two masked men walked towards the stage…


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**CHAPTER 9.**

* * *

><p>For the rest of the week I had the same feeling that someone was watching me and it totally creeped me out.<p>

Every morning was the same.

Mum went to work. I had breakfast. Walked in on dad in the shower- he now locks the bathroom door- and got dropped off at school by him in the morning on route to his work in his new police cruiser.

I usually got a lift home by Emmett or Caius- though he was at University so it was harder for him- and on rare occasions I walked home.

Yes, I am capable of walking the short distance back home!

I spent lunch times with, Emmett and in the past few days, Boob 'Alice' has been joining us. Just like, Emmett said, she's a great laugh- and I wasn't even linking that fact to her huge jugs!

She was a bit of a retard if I was honest but it was nothing that I couldn't change, after all, I am probably the biggest retard in the whole school!

If she wanted to hang with me, she was going to have to up her game.

Em, refused my offer of helping him out- putting colourful contact lenses in- and said that he preferred to be 'neutral'. When I gave him the golden contacts he said that I misunderstood and clarified that he didn't want to wear any, saying his reputation was at stake as it is.

I don't know why- he was only hanging with me and Alice.

I laughed when he said that, and he turned his evil eye on me- I was very impressed and said that he can join my freak show. He wasn't happy about that, so now he hangs back with his mates and comes to chill with me and 'Boob' for a few minutes every break and lunch.

The boy that I saved in PE came back to school on Wednesday, (2 days ago), and it's strange but, he's almost invisible when he walks to his classes.

His hair hangs in front of his eyes- his light but deep green eyes. His feet drag across the linier floor, tripping over his shoelaces every few steps and his hands are always shoved in his pockets, all-the-while no-body notices him.

He never looks people in the eye and always has his head held low.

He is constantly shoved out the way and pushed into lockers but he doesn't fight back. He doesn't even say anything when it happens to him.

I told this to, Alice, who simply said that he's always been that way. She also said that when his hair was last cut it was really short and girls went crazy about him for a few weeks until it covered his eyes again.

"It was funny how many people noticed him those few weeks, but he hid even more and because of that he hasn't had it cut since- I don't think- but it needs it!" She'd told me one lunch break.

"His hair is such a lovely colour and if it was cut and styled a certain way, I have no doubt that girls would be turning their heads to him within one glance. He just needs that push and motivation to do it."

"I agree!" And I really did.

And with that we had a slush-puppy contest on who could gulp it down the fastest. I won of course, and told her she had to improve or I wouldn't help her with her Drama homework.

The following week was pretty much the same.

I still lost my breath at the end of every corridor whilst Alice walked next to me, trying not to bump or knock anything or anyone over with her abnormally huge bazoomers.

At lunch sometime later in the week- I think it was Friday?- I needed to do my English homework, so I went to the school's library.

It was deserted just like I expected, so I got straight to work on some creative writing essay we had to do. It wasn't very hard, I just wrote about vampires! I mean honestly- what else would I write about, it is me we're talking about?

I had my ear-buds in and was listening to some classical piano tunes, when I felt a small poke on my left shoulder.

I brushed it off thinking it was just the librarian asking me to put my shoes back on- I didn't think they smelled, but obviously I was wrong.

I felt the gentle poke again so this time I stopped my iPod, shoved my shoes on and was ready to face the librarian, only when I turned, I was shocked to see the invisible kid – I saved in PE- standing awkwardly next to my desk.

He asked if he could sit in the chair next to me and I said he couldn't, so then he asked about the one opposite me and I obliged.

We sat in silence for a while, me continuing to scribble down my essay and him fidgeting in the seat opposite me.

I got really agitated with his fidgeting so I stopped writing and glanced over at him.

"So…?"

He jumped slightly but said nothing.

This was going to be interesting.

"Look, I don't know what you want but you're creeping me out!" I scream-whispered and still he just sat there.

I crossed my arms and released my evil vampire power on him.

It didn't work- well that sucks!

I sighed and was about to ask him something else or better still- to get lost- when he suddenly opened his mouth and spoke.

"Sorry."

Oh. Was that it? That wasn't what I was expecting.

"Aren't you going to elaborate?"

He was silent again.

I opened my mouth to speak again and again he beat me to it.

"I…I need…" He stopped and left it hanging.

"Look, just spit it out already! Do you need money? Do you need the toilet? Do you need my help with something? Just…God just say something!"

"Shhh! This is a library not some football match!" The librarians' firm voice rang through the room and made me shiver.

The boy opposite me starred at me, his eyes wide behind his long hair.

I heard a sigh and a sharp intake of air before I heard his answer.

"Yes. I need… you to help…I want your help..."

I let out a small sarcastic laugh.

"And why do you want my help?" I released my cocky eyebrow on him.

He looked down at his hands on the desk, his face flushed with embarrassment. He was shy and scared and I wasn't helping him by acting like this.

I sighed and leaned forward- cocky eyebrow gone.

"You have to tell me or I can't help you."

This seemed to wake him up a bit and he sat up a little straighter in his seat and answered me timidly.

"I want you to help…me, because…because..." He stopped for a quick breather and then carried on.

"I've seen you around school, you're so alive…so open, wild and crazy. People… notice you."

"They laugh at me!" I joked, but he didn't look happy in the slightest.

"But you don't …care. I mean…you don't care that they…laugh at you though. Do you?"

"No, they can laugh at me all they like!"

He looked crushed.

"Listen. I like who I am. I'm crazy and stupid and loud and weird and clumsy and many more but I know that I am all those things and I've accepted it. It doesn't bother me what other people think about me because I know that I am the one who matters. I can affect what happens to me and I can change the things that I don't like. I wear anything I want because it reflects the mood I'm in and I wear the contact lenses because I want to be a vampire. I don't hide away from people. After all, they're humans too; they have their own problems the same as I have mine. I deal with mine and get on with life. I've accepted myself a long time ago and I'm happy. I'm happy who I am, because I'm me."

He was about to speak but I cut him off, still not finished.

"But you? I see you around school, I see people shoving you, pushing you, and I see you do nothing about it. I see those eyes behind your hair begging to be seen but you don't let them. You're scared. You're scared of life, of people, of yourself. You can't do that. You have to open up, take a leap, and walk into the unknown. You'll never know the good things unless you just suck up and try!

You're asking for my help, right? To become more like me- confident, stupid and unfazed?

I see that you do, but in order to become like me you have to be willing. You have to take the risk. You have to come out your shell and live, breathe the air! You have to accept yourself."

He had his mouth open, staring at me. I decided to answer his question; I just needed to ask a question of my own.

"What's your name?"

He stumbled over his words.

"E...Ed-ward…Edward. My name's Edward."

"Well Edward, it looks like we have a lot of work to do."

He nodded unsurely.

"And what is it that you are so hopping for out of this?"

"Erm, to be like you?"

"I know that! ... Think boy!"

"Erm, to be noticed?"

"And?"

"Erm, Popular and …c-confident?"

"And?"

"To…be noticed?

"You already said that!…Anything else…?"

"I don't know…?"

"To accept yourself!"

"Shh!" -The librarian was beginning to bug me.

"Sorry!"

I looked at, Edward and he nodded to me.

I extended my hand out to him and he took it and shook it with a nervous hand.

"I'm, Bella Swan- don't laugh!- and we start tomorrow, I know its Saturday but the sooner the better. 10am local bookstore."

Did I just say 10am?

I am NEVER up that early on a Saturday- WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I waited for, Edward to reply.

.

.

.

"Ok."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ****Oh boy...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**Chapter 10.**

* * *

><p>It was Saturday.<p>

Kill me!

I told invisible kid –the one who I saved in PE- who I now know as, Edward, that I'd meet him at the local library at 10am.

It's now 10:45am.

I feel really bad about being late but this is really early- for a Saturday- so I drag myself out of bed- Clive and Winston fall to the floor as I push my duvet off of my body.

I go to the bathroom and get in the shower- still in my vest top and shorts- and turn the cold water on…

. . . . . . . . .. . . .

So I'm walking up to the library steps sniffling as snot runs over my mouth –that's what you get when you take a cold shower- it's 11:10am, but I can't really care less.

I didn't have time to dry my hair -so that is still dripping wet- or have time to stick in my red contacts- I'm feeling angry today and sympathetic for myself.

I walk into the library and the first thing I notice is that it is even quieter in here then I have ever known a library possible to be.

The second thing I notice is that there is a poster advertising Michelle Paver's new book- 'Outcast' from the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness book collection.

I smile and do a fist pump because I have pre-ordered it and it will arrive in the next couple of days.

The last thing I notice is a boy with bronze tinted, brown hair sitting at the far end of the library with his head bowed. I know straight away who it is and I feel slightly guilty.

I walk up to him and announce my presence.

"Right, you ready for hard-core or shall I go slow and smooth with you?"

His head shoots straight up and his eyes are as huge as soccer balls with the shock of what I just said- ready to bulge out.

"Err….."

"Edward chill! I was only asking if you wanted your first lesson to go smooth or if you wanted me to go rough?"

"I…I thought..? I think you misunderstood…"

"No, I understood perfectly fine, you on-the-other-hand didn't."

He looked confused, so I elaborated.

"You want to be like me, right? So this is lesson one," I held up my first finger to signify this so that he could have a visual and it showing a number one.

Well what else would I be referring to?

"Oh." He breathed and flushed bright red in his cheeks.

"That was a test… and you failed miserably by-the-way."

He nodded in acceptance.

"So how did you want to start? Rough or smooth?" I asked once again.

"Errr…. Smooth?"

"Ok let's do this!" I closed the gap between us, yanked on his chair to turn it towards me as I got another chair and stuck it right in front of him before I lowered myself onto it and got a head-band out of my pocket.

He looked shocked and scared at the same time and I stifled my laugh.

I put the head-band on his head and instantly I could see what other girls had seen those few weeks when his hair was cut.

He was stunningly handsome with flawless skin and amazingly bright eyes.

This boy was going to be a heart-breaker when I was threw with him. I just hope it wasn't _my _heart that _he_ would break…

"Now, we are going to have a starring contest-"

"I really don't think this-"

"This will work! You have a phobia of some sort keeping eye contact with people and it's going to stop now!"

I got his attention and he kept his mouth shut.

"We will do this until you have no problem keeping my eye contact. By the end, I will have you crying but then you will be able to look at anyone in the eye with -not so much as a hissy-fit. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes." He avoided my eyes.

"Ok…"

He was uncomfortable I could tell, so I grabbed his face between my hands and held him still.

I looked him straight in the eyes and, as if there was a huge explosion, he jumped away from me and fell off his chair.

"What the Gordon-Bloody-Bennett do you think you are doing?" I screeched.

"If you're going to act like that I won't help you!"

He leapt up to his feet and plopped down onto his seat- "Please help! I promise I'll do as you say!"

I didn't reply as I grabbed his head once again and unleashed my eyes on him for a second time. This time he stayed put...

It took about, twenty-seven tries until he was comfortable enough to last for 30 seconds of it.

By the time I announced it was break he lasted for 60 seconds.

He took the band out of his hair and his brownie-bronze locks swung shut like curtains over his eyes.

I decided my second task would be to get his posture improved so that he held his head up and didn't slouch. Then maybe once we get that out the way and he can look at people I will definitely get him a haircut.

We walked out of the library and got some fresh air, strolling down the street until we got to a coffee shop. We stopped there and both ordered a hot-chocolate, also

purchasing some snacks for our lunch break so that we didn't have to come out again, and headed back to the library.

When we returned and I stuck the band back in his hair we were ready to carry on where we left off.

I was annoyed that he didn't keep my gaze when we first started, but was slightly happier when I saw the strain on his fore-head when he did finally push himself to last longer.

He looked constipated. It was hilarious!

I thought this was smooth but it was torture for both of us!

When the librarian came over to us to announce that it was closing time and that we needed to go, we shook hands and I told him to meet me briefly tomorrow at 12- noon so that I was more able to get there on time.

He agreed and we parted only to be jolted to a stop when he returned my band to me, his cheeks flushing as he realised that he was about to walk home with it still on.

I was walking back home in the setting sun listening to the insects and birds and different wild-life around me, taking everything in.

It wasn't very interesting so I stuck my iPod on…much better…

As I passed parked cars on the street, I didn't even notice the two men sitting in a navy blue van. A black mask on the dash-bored.

On second thoughts I did see them, or I wouldn't have been able to say that- silly me!

I turned down my street, greeted by Clive and Winston, who walked me back home.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You're probably wondering where this is going… It's OK- there IS a plot here beneath this silliness! Don't Panic! I know what I'm doing- sort of…? ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**Chapter 11.**

* * *

><p>It was Sunday… enough said.<p>

I was sat in a stuffy church surrounded by screaming children, howling old people, off-tune wannabes, and a band that couldn't even play C Major accompanied by a piano. As it was they already had a CD playing in the background to have some sort of guidance.

It was 42 degrees outside and 100 bloody-sweltering-degrees in here!

I mean- how does that even work?

"Bella, stop yawning- it's rude!" My mum whispered into my ear.

It was so boring that I bet if I looked around there would be other people dozing off to sleep, lightly snoring whilst drooling over some bald guy's head or completely falling off the seat as they curl up on the floor and die!

I looked over my shoulder- yeah I was right about most of them.

I don't even know -let alone understand- what the dude at the front is mumbling about and with the look on his face, nor does he.

This world is seriously fucked up- and no, I am not including global warming and climate change.

I am soaked with sweat and am dying for the service to end.

I didn't even want to come here but mum had dragged me along saying that we need to thank the Big guy for helping us out with the move and other stuff that I chose to ignore. And don't get me started with dad!

He was cooking scrambled eggs this morning, dressed only- and I say this with such a disgusted look on my face that it's inhuman- in a pair of tiny-butt-plumper pants- (No, not trousers to all you Americans out there- pants are known in England as underwear. Fact!)- But not just any pants- oh no!- They. Were. Leather!

And shiny!

I had a heart attack!

And I almost passed out when I saw mum walk up behind him and spank his arse!...

"Bella- stop it, now!" Mums voice growled in my ear again, pulling me out of that disturbing image.

"When can we go- this is so boring!"

"Shh! Quit your whining and sit still- anyone would think you have worms!"

I gaped at my mum, horrified that she would dare to make a remark like that, to me.

"Honestly- it's like having a 3 year old all over again but worse!" Mum grumbled.

"That is a horrible thing to say mum! I am so shocked by your behaviour right now- and this morning for that matter! Why the hell did I see dad dressed in leather tight-fucking-shiny pants, cooking scrambled eggs and you spanking him! You thought I was turning anorexic when I refused to eat the eggs but now you know that I couldn't eat them, due to the poor food having to endure watching your porno acts at 8am! It's Sunday mum- a day of pureness- not Sinday, the day for playing hard-core with your husband, and ewe, by-the-way!"

Woo- that was a lot to say!

I looked down at my mum- not having realised that I was stood in the middle of the church congregation screaming at my mum about this mornings sinister acts, and that every pair of eyes were on us and it was dead silent.

Ah crap!

Mum's face was flushed with either extreme embarrassment or dangerous amounts of anger. I couldn't tell because it is becoming more of a prominent facial expression that's its almost neutral for her.

Dad looked pink in the cheeks and he was smirking to himself.

I gazed to the front of the church.

The vicar had his mouth wide open- his jaw on the floor- and was as still as a statue, as was the rest of the people staring in our direction.

Yep- I am so grounded when I get home.

I wonder if gran will let me stay with her for a few days…

I was quickly brought back into the moment, when someone coughed, so I took it as a good sign and legged it from the church.

That didn't go as planned because I tripped over about ten peoples legs and managed to run straight into the glass wall, as-well-as nearly choke a dog on its lead when I caught my foot on it, almost taking the dog with me as I tumbled down the church steps.

Finally I was up and running.

It lasted for about 30 seconds before I couldn't run anymore and ended up collapsing on someone's front lawn as the drizzle of rain began to get heavier.

The was so smooth, but damn did it itch!

Erg, I think I laid in an ant's nest, and whatever that God-awful smell was.

Great! Fantastic! ... More shit!

I couldn't get up. If mum and dad walked out church and came looking for me then I was screwed, so staying here would give me more time to catch my breath and give me a chance to think.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! …_

"Bella? ..." Came a distant voice.

_No! No! No! …_

"Bella Swan?" The voice came again.

I was about to open my eyes slightly to see who it was but just as I was about to I was being shook.

Really roughly!

"Bella, wake up! Oh God- I think she's dead!"

"Get the hell off me you freak!" I blurted out once I opened my eyes to see a young man hunched next to me, grasping my arms and shaking me.

"Ah! You're alive!" He shrieked and dropped me.

"Yes, I'm alive you douche, but who the hell are you and how do you know my name?"

His face lit up by something I had just said and I wasn't pleased about that…

"I'm Jasper. Jasper Whitlock. I work at the coffee shop down the road; I see you pass it regularly with some friends. Oh, and are you serious? Everyone knows you Bella- it'd be impossible not to know who you are when you're the loudest, craziest kid on the block! Not to mention, your dad is the new Police chief…"

That made me feel a lot better-ish.

I guess I was famous after-all!

I looked at this 'Jasper' dude for a minute, deciding if I could trust him.

He had honey blond hair with incredible Hazel eyes- I could see my reflection in them! Dude that is cool- as-well-as a flawless face and light stubble on his chin.

Altogether he wasn't bad looking. He might be one of the nicest looking dude's I have ever been this close to without them being gay… Or Emmett…

Yes, I admit my first kiss was with a gay boy, but we didn't want to be attached to anyone. He wanted me to help him with the maths question we were doing and I wanted a damn kiss, but all the other guys were dating so this dude was my only way out of being a virgin-kisser.

I found the back of your hand gets boring after a while- yes I practiced!

So we went to the back of the field that break-time and I got my first kiss.

Considering that he said he didn't want anyone, a day later he started dating this kid a year below us….We were 10…

"Look, I'm not some pervy, paedo or anything, but I think you need a shower- you smell awful and you have ants all over you."

All-mojo-glory-glow-sticks- I forgot about the ants and shit!

I was itching all over and it effing stunk!

"Shower- I need a shower! Look I hardly even know you but you're hot so please- I need to use your shower- NOW!"

He picked me up, slung me under his arm and ran up the drive- which I now realise is his block of flats- and carried me into his apartment, towards the shower before turning it on, placing some towels on the wash basin and leaving the room.

I stripped and turned the shower on- it was freezing but I didn't care- so I jumped in, watching the black dots slip away from my body and enter the drain.

Relief was an understatement.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, We've just met Jasper….**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**Chapter 12.**

* * *

><p>After a very refreshing shower, some pop-tarts - which are just the most heavenly thing I have ever had enter my mouth- some fizzy apple, a long interesting chat with Jasper- who drove me to the library just before 12, I was now walking up the steps ready for another session with Edward.<p>

That sounds rather dirty doesn't it? Session- sounds like I'm doing a porno- which I am most certainly not! Though…. NO!

Once in the library I went straight to the back and plopped myself down on a huge cushion, closing my eyes and clicking next on my iPod.

I didn't have to wait long before I felt my whole body being shaken- for the second time today.

I stopped and yanked my iPod out of my ears- which caused me to go deaf for a split second- and opened my eyes to see Edward leaning over me, shaking me alive.

I shoved him to make him stop and in shoving, he fell backwards and tripped over my bag which I left on the floor about 3 feet away from me.

He looks totally shocked and a bit flushed?

"Hey Edward- Next time you want to make sure I'm alive, you could use mouth-to- mouth resuscitation!"

"I-I-I'm…"

"Sorry? Yeah what-ever, now let's get going. We got a lot to do today."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Three hours later we are still sitting on a bench outside the Park and I have managed –so far- to teach, Edward how to sit properly.

Like a man- not a sissy little girl who looks like she needs to pee!

He seems to have gotten the hang of it and so I am pleased. He has also managed to look me in the eye when I speak to him on various occasions but can't seem to do the same when speaking to me. This gets on my nerves more than I'd like to admit but I'm sure in time that it will happen.

Other things that I have begun to do to him are, (and once again that sounds so dirty), teaching him how to walk like a sex-God. This hasn't gone very well as he seems to trip over his feet when he struts and then ends up head-first in the gravel. And yet again I feel confident that with time it will happen.

I have noticed he does this thing with his hands when he is nervous. He runs his fingers through his hair- just like Robert- sex God- Pattinson! And it is so damn hot… until he gets his fingers caught in a piece of knotted hair, then he has trouble getting out of it and then that isn't so hot.

So I have taught him to run it through his hair more often because believe it or not, it makes a lot of girls horny- including me!

I just didn't admit that last part to him…actually I did and he went totally beetroot in his face- it was hysterical!

Note to self- make Edward embarrassed more often!

This was all in three hours!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I am currently undoing his belt and…

"Erg, Bella? W-what are you doing?"

Pulling his jeans slightly down and…

"Bella! What- STOP!"- Wow he could go high pitched!

Shifting his boxers up a tad- oh, Calvin Klein!

I was stopped there when two soft, warm, firm hands stilled my wrists.

I looked up and saw two green eyes staring me right back- I was so proud, I could have snogged his flawless face right off!

Ok, maybe not but still…

"This is the next lesson, Edward."

"What- getting me off?"

Whoa- hold the phone- REWIND!

"…_getting me off…getting me off…getting me off…"_

"WHAT?"

"Well, that's what you were doing right? Y-you were undoing my belt, shifting my pants down and p-pulling my underwear –"

I shook my head, unable to get over what he just said…

"Ok, ok! I was doing all that because if you have opened your eyes more to the male population of this world, you would have noticed that they all wear their lower clothes like so!" I pointed towards his lower abdomen area, which was looking rather yummy now that I have sorted out it's positioning.

"B-but…"

"Now walk- strut your stuff!" I pushed him forward and he immediately fell over- not yet used to his jeans being so low.

We carried on this way well into the late hours of the afternoon.

I was very pleased with our success and he looked- for the most part- pleased with the progress too.

So I gave him a brief and we went over everything I had taught him quickly so that he was prepared for school tomorrow.

This is going to be life changing for him if he can pull it off and I have no doubt that he will succeed in this one day.

We grabbed a late Deli sandwich and strolled down the road talking.

It was nice to be able to be like this - not having to be his teacher, not having to scold him for his mistakes, but just to have a nice normal sophisticated conversation with him. Although that didn't last long, what with my absent brain filter and lack to control my mouth from moving.

I think I asked him questions like- "do you suck or lick lolly-pops?"

And "have you ever tried to sharpen a pencil in a cat's anus?"

He was a bit disgusted with the fact that I was actually interested in knowing if he had.

He asked sensible questions like- "What are your family like?"

So I gave him my whole family history- right from when great, great Grandma Swan stopped using cocaine to get rid of her headaches and when great uncle Swan used crushed indigestion tablets to feed his pet fish, Norman.

I told him that my mum was a book editor/publisher and that she also did script editing for movies.

I told him about my dad being the new chief of police and how he gets to carry a cool gun around with him these days.

Both my parents are very high up in their businesses and very well known by a lot of famous and wealthy people but they live a normal family life when they got home, almost as if they lead two different lives. The important life-style and the mum and dad- happy family role.

One thing I knew already was that my family were insane from day one of their existence!

I asked him the same question and got most of his background information and I don't know why but it made me feel a bit… sad.

His mum is a jeweller and has worked as a makeup artist for numerous films in the past but decided to go on a break for a few years.

His dad is high up Doctor at the local hospital and is well known by everyone in the area, including both in town and out!

His sister was a musician and played the violin and piano in well-known orchestras around New York, and she loved to write poetry in her free time.

He told me she has a whole book of poems that she had written and that she wanted to get it published one day.

He then told me that she died two years ago- having had a fatal car accident with her fiancée on the way back from a night out with friends.

I was a bit shocked to say the least after that and so we changed the subject.

Again, I gave him another few tests to make sure that he was prepared for school and then we parted our own ways home to our families.

.

.

One thing's for sure…

.

.

School will be interesting tomorrow!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Poor Eddie doesn't stand a chance!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Stephenie Meyer – the rest are mine!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I wish I did.**

**CHAPTER 13**

* * *

><p>I'm restless in my dreams tonight.<p>

Tossing and turning, sleeping at the foot of my bed, lying with my feet in the air, lying on-top-of a teddy, standing up, counting sheep, trying to hang upside down…. None of it is making any difference!

I'm slightly disturbed by my vivid dreams of dying. It doesn't bother me or anything because I know that it doesn't make sense for two grown men in woolly masks to want or need me for anything.

But tonight I can't get to sleep.

This time the dream had me running through a maze with 10ft high walls, and I was sprinting through this maze trying to find a way out whilst the two masked men came trudging behind me, once again clinging onto a gun and a knife.

Which-ever way I turned they followed and when-ever I thought that I was far enough from them to slow down slightly, they would catch up in lightning speed.

It was- for the most part- extremely….weird?

I guess it also didn't help that Winston was in one of his funny moods which means he runs around the house- mostly my room- in a frenzy, as if he was high off his head with the drug 'speed', or the fact that Clive sat on my window-sill meowing to the moon. I swear he thought he was a Ware-Wolf, and here was me hoping to have two vampire cats- no such luck!

So at about 4am, I gave up and walked downstairs, going into the kitchen to get a drop of my dad's vodka or maybe whiskey.

I went to the cabinet- glass in hand- and got the two bottles out.

Not able to decide which one I felt more like having, I mixed the two…

Yuck!

I thought it would have at-least tasted a bit better!

Ew- not having that again!

After placing the bottles back and wincing the glass in the sink, something from outside caught my eye…

By the street-light across the road from my house, something moved. I didn't know what moved but I could just tell that something had.

You know that feeling right?

I stayed still for a few minutes until I saw a young-ish man in a long coat and a brown hat approach the lamp-post, another young-ish man shortly joined him.

They seemed to be talking for a bit and there was an exchange of hand shakes and what appeared to be some…smuggling, drug handling?

Well I'll be!

The shorter of the men walked swiftly away, into the darkness. The other, just stayed there… glancing at my house every now and then.

I waited for a little longer…a lady then appeared and walked towards him, dressed in a tiny skirt- which was more like the width of a belt than a skirt- a very low, flimsy vest top and stumbling on her high heels. She was obviously drunk… I think?

As soon as the man noticed she was there he grabbed her and…. Snogged her fiercely!

OK! I don't want to see that- thank-you-very-much!

So I backed away from the window and made my way half way up the stairs before I couldn't remember how to walk properly…..

…

'Meoooow….Meooooow….MEOOOW!'

"Get lost Clive- you little shit!" I sat up and in doing so- fell out of bed.

Only to be starred at by Winston instead of Clive- he groaned with the fact that I mixed them up again.

"What-ever, soz Win-ston!" I emphasised his name.

Hang on a minute….

I fell out of bed?

But I didn't make it to bed after being downstairs….

I stumbled up the stairs and passed out- never even reaching my room- or so I thought…

Oh-well, I guess I did make it to my bed after all- that mixed drink of Vodka and Whiskey sure did work wonders.

So I picked myself off the floor and began my morning system….

…..

Sometime later I found myself in school.

I waited in the parking lot for, Edward to arrive in all his full glory.

Only when he did finally arrive, he got out the car head held high until he missed his stepping and tripped over and then he accidentally caught a girls skirt whilst trying to keep his balance, which only made matters worse when the girls' skirt ripped off and her pink thong was exposed!

I won't go into too much detail but the girl wasn't at all happy and charged him with a fee to pay for a new skirt as- well-as an audience of laughing students who were staring unfazed at the girls' thong and laughing uncontrollably at, Edward- who legged it inside the school building making no eye contact and slouching his shoulders.

Well, there goes all my hard work!

I wasn't able to find him for most of the day… he played hide and seek too well!

The day past with a blur until it was Science...

Mr Fritt has given us an experiment to do for home-work that we have the rest of the term to work on. We can ask anyone we want for help, which wasn't so bad I guess.

We had to plan and make a go-cart that can stop, start and turn, which we apparently would be racing at the beginning of the next term.

I contemplated asking for Boob's- I mean, Alice's- help but then quickly aborted that idea, as she would no-doubt be a hazard for my safety. Though on a plus side- she could be the one to race it and then if it crashed she was perfectly safe due to her air-bags attached to her front!

I then considered Emmett, but then decided he doesn't seem like he knows a lot other than sport so that's a no.

Which left only one other person who would be the perfect help…

I walked into the school library and found him at the back, clutching onto a book he was reading that I couldn't make out the name of.

He looked hesitantly up at me as I glared confidently down at him.

I gave a quick nod of my head and saw him swallow loudly as he closed his book slowly.

This could either end really well or really bad…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I'm thinking of either pulling this story or setting it as a PILOT story, as I'm not doing very well with my reviews it seems… Sad because I think you would like the rest….**

**So if you are reading and not reviewing, then please, please, please do! **

**It means a lot…**

**youthfulvamp xx**


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